She Will Be Loved
by Smallville is fun
Summary: Lex tried to do something incredibly stupid, and Lana had to stop him. All the chapters now in one convenient story. Chapter 4 added!
1. Memory

It had been such a crappy day for Lana Lang.

Why the hell did her professors have to be such Nazis? So she didn't mention one constellation in her report. So what? Lana was fuming mad.

Lana practically tore her clothes trying to get them off of her. She yanked a t-shirt over her head and went to her nightstand to brush her hair.

It was then that she noticed a single rose wrapped up in a sheet of heavy white paper.

Lana unfurled the paper, letting the rose fall to the floor.

_Lana,_

_I'm not sure if you care, but by the time you read this I'll be gone. I'll be dead. I'll be far away, or maybe even closer than ever._

_Lana, I love you. I've loved you for a long time, for a longer time then I've known. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you. I'm so sorry. _

_I hope you're haunted by my memory. I'm certainly haunted by yours._

_I love you._

_Lex_

Lana screamed. It was a blood-curling, spine-freezing scream of pain. Then, Lana ran out the door, not noticing she was only wearing a t-shirt, not noticing it was forty degrees outside. She simply ran to her car, ran to save Lex.

------

Why was he so stupid? Why did he leave that note for her? She must be in a panic now, she must be completely devastated.

Lex shuddered at the possibility that she wasn't.

He sipped his scotch. It tasted like motor oil. What the hell was wrong with him? Lana will think he's insane. What if she does something crazy? What if she hurts herself?

What if she doesn't? What if she doesn't care? What if she laughs and throws the note and the rose into the trash?

Lex paced around the study. He was sobbing. He sobbed for Lana. For hurting her. He sobbed for himself. For being certain Lana didn't care.

He studied the knife. It was a common kitchen knife, one used for cutting meat. Hardly ceremonial and elegant, but he didn't deserve that anymore. _I don't deserve death. I should suffer. _

The doors opened violently.

"Lex?"


	2. If Only For Her

"Lana."

"Lex, why don't you put the knife down, and we can just talk, okay?"

Lex let the knife fall to the floor. Whether he dropped it or he threw it or it flew away, he didn't know.

"Lex, you put the note in my room?" It was a statement, a fact.

"Yes. I didn't want to leave with you….unanswered questions."

Lana took a few cautious steps towards him. "Actually, it's only given me more questions."

"Lana, you are so much better off without me. It's better if you just accept the answers."

Lana's eyes ignited. "No, Lex. I'm not better off without you."

"Yes, you are. Look at all the trouble I've caused. Clark and you broke up because of me."

"Lex, I was the one who broke it off. You had nothing to do with it."

Lex frowned, as if he wanted to have something to do with it.

Lana took a few more steps towards him, and before he knew it, he was holding her in his arms. She clung to him tightly and whispered, "Well, maybe you did."

"Lex, you don't have to threaten suicide to get my attention. You could have just asked me out to dinner."

Now that the danger of him ending his life had passed, Lana was ready to get angry. Lex didn't blame her. He would almost enjoy her anger, in his own twisted way. He wanted to suffer. _For her. For her. _

"You just got out of another relationship. I didn't want to stress you out." Lex thought the words were stupid even before they left his mouth.

Lana rose from the couch she and Lex had been tensely perching on. Lex recognized the look in her eyes: painful, sad anger that would almost definitely cause her to throw things.

"So you leave a note telling me you've killed yourself? You let me think you're dead and I could have saved you? And you don't think I got stressed out? I ran outside in forty degree weather in only a t-shirt and drove on icy roads with broken headlights to get here! And let me remind you that I was dealing with the possibility that I might find your body on the floor when I burst in? I think that counts as 'stressing me out'!"

There went the scotch glass.

"Lana, I'm sorry." And there's nothing more to say. She'll either forgive him or she won't.

"I need time, and so do you. We both have to think about what we can and can't do." She prepares to storm out, but just before she does, she turns to Lex.

"I love you," she says slowly, softly. And then she's gone, and Lex just wants to pick up the kitchen knife all over again. But he won't, if only for her.


	3. Foreign Emotion

Lex stared at the door for a long time after she left. He finally sat down on the floor, thinking. Remembering what had driven him to set the whole thing in motion.

_Lana laughed and pressed her hand against Clark's. She reached over and grabbed his coffee, taking a long, luxurious sip. Clark gave her a mock-glare and Lana giggled, nearly falling off the tall chair and almost spilling coffee all over the table. _

_Neither of them saw Lex slink out of his chair and head for the door. His face was painful to look at in that moment._

Had it only been this morning that he had seen them, so happy and full of joy? Had such little time passed, between the time that he sat here now and the time when a foreign emotion slapped him across the face?

_He walked out to his car. He pulled out one rose from the bouquet in his lap. The rest he threw out the window._

They were beautiful roses. All a deep bloodred. The perfect symbol of torturous love.

_He reached into the glove compartment, and pulled out a sheet of his best stationary. It had a satisfying weight. He pulled out a pen and hastily scripted a note to Lana. He didn't think it would have to come to this. He never thought he'd go to such desperate measures to earn her love. He hoped she wouldn't be angry. That would be bad._

_He hoped she wasn't indifferent. That would be worse._

_Lex brought the car to life and sped off. He was pretty sure he could still pick a lock…._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lana glanced at the clock by her bed. 11:30 PM. It didn't matter. She wasn't going to class tomorrow anyway.

She padded over to her bed and sat down, her spine straight and sore. She could barely believe what was happening.

_Lex was going to kill himself. Actually take a knife and…._she couldn't finish the thought.

And he loved her.

Lex loved her.

Did she love him?

_Yes. _

What about Clark?

It took some courage to finally muster up the words, but they felt right in her mind. When she spoke them aloud, she realized everything.

"Clark who?"


	4. Sunlight

The sun streamed through the windows, illuminating Lana and her bed in soft, golden relief. Lana's hazel eyes opened slowly, beautifully. They took in the perfect scene around her. She rose gracefully from the bed and made her way to the window.

"FUCK!" she screamed.

How dare the sun light up the world this way. How dare the sky be beautiful and the light comforting and the world fresh today. How dare the day begin so wonderfully.

How dare the world ignore the emotions of Lex Luthor and Lana Lang.

Lana frowned and let out a shaky sigh. She flashed on her dreams, dreams filled with knives and blood and that single, stupid rose.

_Lex needs you, Lana. Get dressed and get over there._

_I need time!_

_You need Lex. You love him._

Lana had to agree with herself on that one. She stepped in the shower, bitterly anticipating how radiant the light would look when it fell on the water.

……..

Lex was frowning before he even realized he was awake. When he did, he opened his eyes and took in the scene before him. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the trees were green with life.

What did he expect? _At least some hail, maybe a hurricane._

Lex thought of the previous day's events. He groaned and hid under the covers like a five year old.

……..

Lana drove into the main driveway of the Luthor mansion. She parked and got out of the car. What now? Does one just barge into the mansion when they are not in a panicked preventing-suicide mode?

She could barge quietly.

Once inside, she ascended the stairs and went to the study. She knocked cautiously, then peeked inside when there was no response. The study was empty. _Where do I go now?_

Lana wandered down the hallway. "Lex?" she called out softly.

Lana carefully knocked on a door. She was surprised at how little she knew of the mansion.

A door a few feet to her right opened. Lex stepped out, still in his boxers. At the sight of Lana, his eyes widened and his lips curved in a smile.

"Hey."

"Hey. I think you better put some clothes on," Lana said, a little giggle accompanying her words.

"I'm on it," Lex deadpanned, leaning into the doorway and snatching a robe out of the room. He pulled it on.

"To the study?"

…….

Lex and Lana sat down on the couch they had both perched on so tensely the night before. This time, they were actually beginning to relax.

"Lex…..I need an explanation."

Or not.

Lex felt his body clench. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything, Lex. Starting with what possessed you to act so rashly."

The words left him of their own accord, completely ignoring his mental commands to stop them. "I saw you and Clark together."

Lana shook her head slightly, still searching. "But you've seen us together so many times."

Lex felt his chest tighten. "This time…you just looked so…happy. I realized that you….you were happy without me. You didn't….need me like I needed you."

Lana bit the inside of her lip. "I do need you, Lex. It just took me a while to see it."

She took his hand in hers. She had such small, fairy-like hands. His hands were so….well, the best word to describe them was _manly. _She laughed out loud at the thought.

"What?" Lex said, half-smiling.

"I was just thinking how _manly _your hands are," she snickered.

"Oh yes, I have very _manly _hands," Lex said, snickering as well.

They both laughed for a moment before Lana stopped. She clasped his hand more tightly and looked up at him, the laugher gone.

"Lex, just know that I love you. Never doubt that."

His love for her is constant, unending. It's the one variable that cannot be altered, the one thing that cannot change. It stretches into infinity. And he hopes that she feels the same.

He smiles at her, and whispers that he loves her too. But his mind hisses to him that she is young, she doesn't know what she wants. Her heart doesn't belong to him yet, and it may never.

_But my heart is hers. That's enough for now._

She stands, pulling her up with him. Lex places one hand on the back of her neck, letting her glossy hair glide over his skin. She leans in towards him and gives him a hesitant kiss. Her liquid brown eyes stare into his, and he savors the moment, watching the light of her face.

OK, so maybe the weather agreed with him today after all.


End file.
